There are serious moments where i have to stop and say to myself “Don’t Explode, Don’t start throwing stuff around or pounding walls. Just breathe. get on tumblr and rant.
i gave up trying to stop cutting because it makes me feel better. I know i deserve every cut Im, ugly, selfish and just an overall a waste of space. Im unlovable and socially awkward. If i die tomorrow i doubt anyone would truly miss me… id be one less thing for my parents to worry about, Maybe the can finally be happy. The only reason i wont commit suicide is because im a coward im scared of the after-life.
Went on facebook and started reading posts from almost a year ago. Its funny reading the things i used to update and remembering exactly what i ment through lyrics, metaphors and remembering how at the time all of those things were part of my everyday life. I dont really go on facebook anymore just because i dont feel the need to update anything about my current life but i have to say it was kind of depressing seeing some of the things i wish i still had, the conversations i miss, and the friends i was with.
Acne really sucks, so i think im going to see a dermatologist soon. My acne is starting to make me really depressed and self conscious. i have mixed feelings about doctors because i feel like they only want to fill their wallets. If i dont see results after 3months the most with whatever my derm. suggests im going to try the “Acne.org Regiment”
